Bittersweet day. started packing to move to the city with my new roomie..gonna be so awesome. but amongst my packing came across old pics and this memorial card. GOD this is why i hate the holidays. My grandfather passed way before thanksgiving (which was his favorite holiday) in 03. I was a Junior in high school. And my grandfather’s failing health was the push behind a lot of terrible things i did in high school.
Even though I have forgiven my Uncle for never being there when my grandfather as at his worst and when he made my grandfather’s funeral more of a social event than a memorial service, i still resent him in alot of ways. And now that i live in dallas, my uncle is the only family i have here. I never would have thought I would be spending Christmas with him bc I know he’ll be alone. But i guess family is family.
(and i picked out the reading that was printed Psalms 23)
I know I got the best of my grandfather and there isnt a day that goes by that I dont wish he was still here. he taught me so much, pushed me when i needed a little shove, encouraged me to be an inspiration and leader to those around me. I would have given anything to have him at my college graduation and even my high school graduaion. hell he paid for me to go to an awesome high school. he should have been there…it wasnt fair..imu so much…just wish i could say i love you and thanks one more time…
BAHAHA This reminds me of one of my college roommates.. she used to use my restroom whenever he bf would come over..nasty biaatch but in some ways i still <3 her. She married her bf too lol idk where she poops now
“Head in the clouds”…sometimes I hate myself for the things I do…I’m a lot weaker than people think I am..
OH MY…some girls should def cut that 2nd number to like 5….
SOMEONE STOLE MY SECRET! lol actually its not a secret…i put it on my fb all the time..but FORREALLL…the lady in the office next to me…GROSSS
check out postsecret.com new secrets every sunday…
LOL Deadmau5 for LSU GEAUUUUUXXX TIGERS
Pictures above are of those that I am most thankful for..the people who raised me, the people who pushed me, the people that have taken part in making me who I am today.
Call me Scrouge or the Grinch, but I absolutely despise thanksgiving/christmas. I KNOW I KNOW I sound so bitter and hateful. But just like everyone, there are certain times of the year, certain smells, certain tunes that bring me back to when my life was so very different.
I have been to a funeral every “holiday season” since my sophomore year of high school. I am not the only one that hates this time of the year. My dad, my mom, and people that know me the best understand all that I have dealt with. I gotta say I’ve held strong though it all. My grandfather, my mentor, my friend…was the first funeral I went to during the oh so dreaded time of the year. It was November 13th when we passed my sophomore year of high school. Right before his favorite holiday, Thanksgiving. That was one of the WORST thanksgiving holidays I had ever experienced. There were some years that I attended funerals of those I hardly know but I knew what my friends that were close to them were experiencing. Just as my faith teaches, I gave my friends the love and support I would have wanted and did have during those trying times.
I finally get to take a trip home for Thanksgiving, though its a rough time for my dad and the family, I’d rather be there with them to support them and have the comfort in return.
So if I seem a little grumpy, uneasy, upset and to myself..its because I haven’t learned to cope yet..I question alot and I know I shouldn’t..but I do..I do trust that time heals all wounds. Gotta let go one day. Just not today….